Butt Kicking

Today is day 2 of staying home with a feverish sick baby.  After last night, my butt is officially kicked. She slept for about three hours.  And that three hours was sandwiched between hours of crying.

And the crying was because she was hungry but she couldn’t nurse. I kept trying and trying but she couldn’t breathe through her stuffed nose.

We have the humidifier running constantly at night. I don’t know that it actually works anymore.

So I tried saline drops and the snot sucker.  No dice.  I tried more drops and the Nose Frida.  No dice. I need 8 eight hands to use that thing. She’s strong enough to push mine away.

Scream, cry, cry. Repeat.

I rocked and rocked. Tried to half-swaddle her (just her arms). This usually works when she’s upset but she was also hungry.  And I couldn’t feed her.  She won’t take a bottle from me.  I tried that the night before last.

So we rocked. She cried. Her nose finally cleared enough for her to nurse back to sleep. And three hours later, she woke up feverish.

More Motrin. More saline drops. More snot sucker and Nose Frida. Angry baby. Rock rock rock.

Then The Mister came in with his magical baby dust, made her a bottle, and she went back to sleep.

Momma out.

Still Stunned

Having a baby still stuns me.
Mostly when I look in the mirror while holding her.
And her little face is just grinning away.
She’s grinning at herself of course.
And maybe her second momma reflecting back at her too.
The momma holding her is still amazed that’s she’s here.
Out of 24 eggs, she’s the only one that made it.
She’s the only one.

Making babies is miraculous no matter which way it happens. Conceiving without the aid of modern medicine has a 25% chance every month for healthy fertile couples. Conceiving via IVF renders a 40-45% chance for couples in their late 20s, early 30s.

Either way, there’s still a huge chance that pregnancy won’t happen.

I still remember the doctor telling me after the transfer of our one embryo, after he’d sandwiched it in between what he called the peanut butter layers, that what happens next they don’t know. They don’t know what happens between transfer and implantation.

They (the medical community) don’t know.

So I went with a miracle. A miracle happens.

A miracle.

And then we saw her little heartbeat fluttering away at the 7 week ultrasound. We saw it again at 9 weeks.

And heard her whoosh-whoosh at 12 weeks.

A miracle for sure.

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Being seven months

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Our happy little crab! I hope everyone had a safe Halloween last night. Little miss decided her only nap of the should start at 2:15. She slept till after 4:30 so we missed trick or treating downtown. She’s seven months. I don’t think it phased her.

In other news, baby girl is seven months old! Didn’t I JUST go into labor yesterday?? How have seven-plus months passed already? She is a crawling standing machine these days. No teeth yet but man do her gums ache. Poor babe. She’s eating like a champ though. We have cereal (oatmeal + rice combo) plus a fruit/veg purée twice a day. She likes applesauce but avocado and egg yolk are off the list for now. She still nursing and has bottles I pump at daycare. Daddy will give her a formula bottle a few times a week and sometimes she gets formula at daycare. I’m pretty sure with all this eating she’s well over 17 pounds now. Still petite but we’re slowly making our way into 9 month clothes.

Last week was a rough week. I’m having all kinds of mixed feelings about being a working mom. Even though I’m part-time this year, I’m planning to pick up AP classes next year and be full time again. That’s my teacher’s heart. My mom heart just wants to stay home and watch her attack her stuffed kitty and sheep all day and nurse her whenever she needs me. I feel like Dr.Jekyll and Mr.Hyde. (And I’m sure The Mister would agree that I act that way sometimes too.) it’s just all very overwhelming and emotional combined with my memory still being complete crap. My scatterbrained tendencies right now are driving me nuts. I know getting fractured sleep every night doesn’t help. Sometimes I can get a nap in but usually not till the weekend. Ah… To have a night of uninterrupted sleep. I’m not sure I’d know what to do with myself.

Smells Like Teen Spirit

What is it about angsty YA lit that tears me up? I think there’s a tiny piece of my own teen angst threaded into the story lines that pulls me straight back twenty years.

Eleanor & Park. Go read it.

This girl

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She practiced standing up all weekend. And blessedly slept through the night with one 1am wakeup.

Growing is hard work.

Auntie Jenn’s visit was a blast. Little miss loved having someone else to practice standing with and giggle with all day long.

She loved the ferry ride. From inside the car.

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And this morning she got to tell all her daycare friends about her weekend.

Meanwhile, I managed to finish The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer. Can’t recommend this one enough. With all the late night/early morning feedings lately, I’ve been able to do more reading than I expected. I’m now on the third book of Deborah Harkness’s All Souls trilogy.

Nothing like following up lit fiction with genre fiction. It’s all about balance.

Collage of life

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I think I posted about the Project Life app on Instagram a while back. I’d never even heard of the app until Emily Ley posted about the app on Instagram. Then I found out Becky Higgins has this whole shop devoted to amazing scrapbooking collections.

I’m really glad they came out with the app though. I have no space to physically scrapbook anymore so it would have killed me to not purchase any of her collections.

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To say scrapbooking on my iPhone is easy is an understatement. I love how these have turned out. I love them so much I applied to be on the Project Life Creative Team for next year. Crossing all fingers and toes!

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And I just realized I sent in a sample with my application with a typo on it! There goes my chance. Grrrrr.

The sickness

Beginning with the first day of school, we’ve been battling sickness.

Little miss seems to just get over something to start up with something else.

I’ve been blowing my nose for over a month now.

She’s back in the swing at night to sleep. Poor babe is congested. Again.

It just keeps cycling through our classrooms and daycare.

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But you wouldn’t know it from this picture. Love.

Epitome

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This pretty much sums up their relationship.

In other news, my friend Jenn is flying over/up for a visit this Friday! I’m very excited and we will knit all the things while she’s here. Well, maybe she will. I have a baby to wrangle. I know that crab will be eaten and sightseeing will happen. Can’t wait! It’s been too long between visits. And don’t ask me how long exactly because I can’t remember. I know Jenn visited our house in California so it’s been as long as four years since we last laid on eyes on each other. Too long I say.

Runaround

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It’s no wonder I’m tired.

Above are two days of FitBit tracking on days that I’m not teaching.

😳

Little miss keeps me very busy. I easily track 10k fewer steps on my teaching days.

I generally accumulate over 100k steps in a week.

Good excuse to buy new shoes… Clearly I’m wearing them all out!

Not ready

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Have I mentioned little miss started crawling at 5.5 months?

This is not a bragging point.

This is dismay.

I’d really hoped for a few more months of rolling.

Because now life really and truly is over.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

Since learning to crawl, little miss is everywhere and fast. We block her inside of the living room. Otherwise she’s in the bathroom, bedrooms, and/or kitchen faster than I blink.

She’s now pulling herself up too. And bonking her head when she loses her balance. Which is more often than she’d like.

And because of all these new fun things she’s learning, her sleep is garbage. Which means my sleep is garbage.

Is it too early to enroll her in soccer?

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